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Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Women's Mental Distortion

Women have this built in desire to tell even their fat ugly friend that she is pretty. Or funny. Or talented. When in fact she is none of the above. Ask any guy and he will tell you - when a guy's wife or girlfriend says oh you just gotta meet my friend blah blah blah she is so funny and so great, the first thing we ask is - is she hot? The pause right before they answer is all the information you need. No - the pause is telling you - she is not hot. At all. Listed below are the first five things most chicks say about their available friends, followed by the truth:
  1. She's really cute, she's got great eyes and she's funny. (She's got cute lips, nice eyes and snorts like a stuck pig when she laughs.)
  2. She looks like Michelle Pfeiffer. (If Michelle Pfeifer had just been in a car crash.)
  3. She's very very very pretty. (She's fat.)
  4. She's got an amazing body. (But the face...)
  5. She's incredibly smart. (She wont shut up.)
Likewise, if you hear any woman describe another woman using the terms listed below - almost the exact opposite will be true:
  1. She's an idiot. (She's got massive tits.)
  2. She's anorexic. (She's got great legs and flat stomach.)
  3. She's so self-centered. (Guys love her.)
  4. Her ass is huge. (She's Jennifer Lopez)
  5. She's a bitch. (She's gorgeous and funny and will fuck your brains out five minutes after she meets you.)
Chicks will take precious time and carefully chosen words to spend on chubby or homely or big-boned female friends - referring to their beestung lips or slow metabolism or zaftig curves. Agree? Yes? No? Find it out yourself.



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